Today with very little notice Perth W.A was sent into a 5 day lockdown. I watched as my Facebook feed filled with negative reactions, cursing and memes. School was due to start back tomorrow and parents who were looking forward to seeing their little darlings back into the care of the teachers found themselves with them full time for another 5 days. There were questions about child care’s being open, masks and essential workers. The headlines quickly reported mass mania at the supermarkets and in a flash it was dejavu to 2020.
One of my more spiritual friends put the whole thing down to a “Mercury Retrograde”. Apparently a few times a year the planet Mercury appears to move backwards in the sky. Astrologers claim this causes humans to experience confusion, delay, coincidences and frustration…..5 day lockdown???
But I’ve chosen a slightly different fate. I’ve been gifted five beautiful days to rethink my plans and slowdown. No I won’t be carting the kids around to swimming, gym, optometrist appointments, coffee catchups and play dates. There will be no beach going, playgrounds, or food shopping. I will be stuck at my parents house (if you’ve bene following my blog we sold our house without having found a new one yet) with my two kids under 3.
The funny thing is I was only thinking a few hours ago about how busy the week was. How many incidental things I have had to buy and how I wanted to save more money. How sometimes I just wish I could have a day where I don’t need to go anywhere.
Then bang…a 5 day lockdown.
Did you know 5 days is 120 hours. How many times in our lives are we gifted time?
We recently lost someone in my family, as we all know its in these moments that we don’t wish for money, holidays, or career progress we just with for time with our loved ones.
So the next 5 days I am going to embrace the gifts of 120 hours by doing things I love to do at home with my greatest loves.
Music: Each day I’m going to pick an artist and just listen to them for the day. I just love the thought of my boys listening to the musical voices I love whilst creating beautiful memories at home. I’m thinking really classic voices- Billy Joel, Elton Joh, Freddie Mercury, Frank Valli
Spiritual Recharge: I’m going to recharge my spirit by taking some time to myself playing the piano, reading a book or taking a bubble bath.
Cooking/Baking: I’m going to bake and cook dinners with my mum and sons. Recreating some of the things she used to make me when I was little and take lots of pictures of the mess and laughter as we do it.
Technology Disconnect: I’m going to have a day free from internet, phone, laptop and TV. I’m going to fill it with playing in the garden, painting, piano and books. I don’t want the distraction of other peoples I just want to spend a day with my little family enjoying the days I’ll never get back.
Slow Down: I’m going to practise slowing down. If that means breakfast is 15 minutes late and nap time is delayed so be it. I spend all my days racing around like a headless chook. I’m on maternity leave, I don’t need to be racing. Without the appointments and lessons there is no where we need to be, so I’m going to breath and give myself permission to slow the pace down.
I’m hoping on the other side I’ll see a healthier bank account, healthy stress level and hundred of happy snaps from a well spent week. Take care all of you out there, see you on the other side
This year we took a risk. We sold our house without having bought a new one. We packed up all our belongings and stored them at families and friends and moved in with my parents with our 2.5 year old and 6 months old. All the while living with the unknown, how long would we be without a home of our own?
It got me thinking about risks though…
How and when do we take them?
Do all people that take risks really fail?
Do I pick the safe option over the risky option in my life?
Do we take less risks once we become parents?
When we considered moving we looked at the risks vs the benefits. I wanted somewhere that would reduce my commute and make us closer to my family. The risk is that we would lose money on our property and be without a house for a while. The benefit would be living in our dream area in which our property would increase in value far beyond where we were. We took the leap and actually made a small amount of money on our house after realestate fees. But we are without our own house and that’s scary. We don’t know if we’ll be living with my parents for a month or a year. But when the right property comes up we’ll be ready to buy and our offer will be strong.
We recently reviewed our superannuation and insurances. The biggest questions is whether to keep the money in the superannuation company we always have or move to a lesser known one that invests more in big Australian shares and reviews our investments yearly to personalise them. How will we ever know which one would do better. We don’t have a mirror ball that allows us to see into the future. Instead we weigh up there risks and benefits. I guess if the new superannuation company has good reviews and is run by legitimate investment managers then the effort of trying to secure a larger retirement amount is a positive and worth the risk? Who knows..
I work as a teacher. It’s what some may call a safe profession. But its a stressful one, in which you can only be promoted so high. The money isn’t great but the holidays are- if you aren’t working them making and prepping. I could train as something else but its very hard to match what I’m earning now straight away, it could be year before I make that kind of money again and no other career is going to offer me 12 weeks holiday and weekend off. However I might make a lot more money and one day be my own boss in which I could pick my hours. It’s a very difficult decision to make. A benefit could be reduced stress and the possibility of work independence. But in the short term the risk is high. One would suppose if the new career venture did go belly up I could fall back on teaching. Could I live with the regret of never giving something new a go? As I’m writing this I’ve almost convinced myself to try the new venture….
What are the risks you’re thinking of taking?
Are they relationship risks? financial risks?
How did you decide whether to take the risk or not?
Have you taken a risk and failed? tell me about it!
Being a mum with a baby and a toddler is a wonderful gift but it’s not without its challenges. Lately I’ve been finding some routine things difficult and have often chosen to not do some things because the effort out weighs the benefit.
This is something I have ranted about before but seriously in Australia we need more pay at bowser petrol stations. What should be a quick convenient service turns into a nightmare when you need to take two kids out of their car seats into the shop to pay and then load them back in the car. Now I know some people leave them in there but I just can’t do it. On a super hot day the idea of them sitting out there even for a few minutes send my anxiety into overdrive!
Running out of milk is a nightmare. Again getting two kids in the car to the shops, setting up the pram, buying the milk, loading them back in the car, driving home, unloading them from the car all for the sake of 2L of Milk is such a mammoth effort. For the sake of mums could someone please invest in me opening a drive thru deli store???
Keeping your family safe not the road should not be hard! I booked my car in recently and asked for a courtesy car. Apparently courtesy cars were books out for the next 3 months. There was not shuttle service available either. So what do you do with two kids. Sitting at the service centre for 6 hours isn’t an option. Long story short I had to ask my mum to help me. She met me at the mechanics at 8:30am , where I uninstalled two car seats and installed them in her car. We all then got in her car and went back to my house. There we sat and waited for hours upon hours. The mechanic rang me to say I needed new tyres to which I approved and he said the car would be ready at 12. At 2 I rang to see what was happening and he apologised that he’d put it on the later pile and it wouldn’t be ready until 4. At 4 I rang and was told I could get the car at 4:30pm. We headed off to pick the car up, after paying I took the car seats out of mums car and reinstalled them in mine. By the time I got home it was dinner time, everyone was grumpy because we’d been stuck inside all day. Dinner wasn’t cooked, and I just can’t help but think that there has to be a more family friendly way to get this done.
Having your two kids tag along to your medical appointments is a nightmare. My 2.5 year old cries if anyone touches me, apparently the chiropractic table is going to kill me, and don’t even try checking my ears. These appointments need to happen, they’re a fact of life, and part of taking care of ourselves. But going on your own with kids is tricky there’s no easy way about it.
Why are these always scheduled in the middle of the day during nap time! The kids fall asleep in the car, your loading and unloading them between houses, or you have to enlist a babysitter to watch them just so you can spend 10-15 minutes wandering around houses..so frustrating
Last month we celebrated International Day for the Elimination of Violence and I noticed on Social Media there were dozens of women posting the following quote:
“I am raising a son that your daughter will be safe with. I PROMISE!
Now I’m the first to agree that we as parents hold a huge responsibility when it comes to changing the pattern of violence against women, children, family, friends, and human beings alike. But for some reason this quote really got me thinking. Upon reading it I felt pressure and honestly I’m still reflecting on why I feel this way.
One idea I have pondered is that I feel so passionately about raising my sons to be gentle, kind, supportive, loving partners. That won’t respond with violence in any situation let alone towards their families and friends. But what I realised is that I’m not sure exactly what I should be doing to prevent this. It’s all well and good to say that us as parents are responsible for raising our children to respond appropriately in every situation they face as teenagers and adults but how are we educating our parents to do this. I don’t have any experience of violence at home, I’m one of the lucky ones and I still am baffled as to how I’m going to raise my boys to be men that your daughters/sons are safe with. My boys are beautiful, intelligent people who are gentle natured and extremely empathetic and caring. It makes me feel so sad for them that they’re growing up in a world where men are to be feared and distrusted and I feel a immense pressure to raise them right and turn that notion around because I can’t imagine that they would be violent towards anyone. We don’t have violence at home so we’re not modelling violent behaviour, they’re not hit ever, and we teach them how to breath and calm down when they’re angry. When they do play too rough or hit each other they’re told off and we say ‘we don’t hit people’ and ‘that’s not the way we act’ but is it enough? are there other things I could be doing?
After a lot of reading one of the main suggestion was to teach young boys about their emotions. Teaching them to express themselves in healthy ways and not to bottle up their emotions. Encourage them to talk and avoid telling them that ‘boys don’t cry’. Ensuring that we don’t teach them in any way that they are smarter or more powerful than girls. This starts with the chores we set them around the house not being stereotypically male and giving them a range of non gender specific toys.
As they get older we need to ensure that we teach appropriate ways to communicate with all people, and model healthy relationships at home. Make sure the programs they are watching are appropriate and watch tv with them so that if a character is behaving inappropriately you can use it as a teaching moment. Focus on keeping your relationship with your son strong, talk regularly, a good relationship will ensure you know what’s happening in their life and you can give them advice when difficult situations in their lives arise.
Ensure they have good male remodels in their lives, this can include family members, coaches, teachers, family friends the more they see adult males responding with gentleness, kindness, calmness the more likely they are to behave that way as adults.
Teach them what inappropriate behaviours look like from a young age. This is very important for keeping them safe as well as others. Tell them who they should tell if they see any inappropriate behaviours. Teach them about consent, this include consenting to hugs and kisses even from family members. Teach them conflict resolution and give them phrases to use when they’re upset of angry “stop I don’t like it when you…” “when you did_______ it made me feel _________”
Call out people if they make sexist comments or jokes. In fact this might be one of the most important things you do especially if its someone your son sees a lot. If a grandparent or uncle is talking about females in a derogatory way even if it is a ‘joke’ use it as at teachable moment for your son and the adults involved.
Avoid comments like ‘you run like a girl’ or ‘that outfit looks too girly’
Not every man that’s been violent towards his family learnt to be that way from a violent upbringing. So we can’t be complacent that just because our households aren’t violent are children won’t be.
There can’t be a perfect equation for how to ensure you raise your kids to be non-violent empathetic adults but every skill you equip them with will make us closer to that goal. It will raise awareness, it will change attitudes and it just may save a life.
For many Christmas Week in general is basically event hoping and for many of us, myself included it is actually one of the most stressful times of the year. Not only is it the financial stress of Christmas but the emotional toll it takes. I spend the week trying to make Christmas amazing for everyone else, decorating, baking, going to each and every events so as not to upset anyone, ensuring we’ve visited those that are lonelier over the holidays and last year with a toddler it was a strain. This year I’ve got to do it with a newborn as well, send some serious help!
A few years ago though one vital decision was made by my in-laws which did reduce the stress of Christmas week significantly. For a while when I first started dating my husband I was the only partner therefore there were no considerations for the fact that we would have to try and be in two places at once on Christmas Day and man the stress. I felt like I was letting everyone down, I was clock watching the entire day and I was not enjoying myself at all. Just thinking about it gives me grey hairs. Luckily a few more partners came on the scene and they weren’t as people pleasing as me. They just said they couldn’t go to the in-laws event because their families was on at the same time. Now why didn’t I have the guts to do that…anyhow’s, the in-laws made the decision to have their Christmas lunch on Boxing Day so that the majority could be there and my and my husband rejoiced. For the first time in years we could relax on Christmas Day without the worry of rushing off somewhere else.
Fast forward a few years and the in-laws asked us to host the Boxing Day lunch..worst decision ever! Now although we didn’t have to rush off on Christmas Day I had no time to prepare for Boxing Day. After enjoying my Christmas lunch I had to come home and spend all evening prepping, cleaning and setting up. Needless to say there was no repeat of us hosting the year after. Now with two kids under three there is no hosting in sight!
This year brings new challenges- nap time. Navigating naps at different peoples houses around present opening and such is super tricky. Do I put them down early at home and wake them if they sleep too long? Do I risk it and take them awake and hope they go down for a nap there? Do I make everyone work around our schedule regardless of the fact that lunch would then be served at 2pm? There is an argument here for hosting it..but trying to cook for 15 people with a newborn and a toddler really isn’t realistic. I think I’m going to do a mixture of options. For Christmas at my parents the kids are used to sleeping there so I’m going to put them down for naps there between preset opening and lunch. For the in-laws I’m going to put them down for naps early at my house then take them there when they wake up. There would be nothing worse then over tired kids at the in-laws. Plus afterwards we have another event to drop in at so they need to have had a good rest.
In terms of baking and preparing plates to take to each event this is going to be done Christmas Eve Day. That way I am doing no cooking or cleaning on Christmas Day itself. If I can buy it I’m doing it. I know as a mum I’m acting as Santa and Christmas is about the kids so I will be running around like a headless chook trying to make it perfect for them but I have made one condition with my husband. One day Christmas will be all about me. Selfish as it may seem I would like one Christmas in my life before I have daughter in-laws and grandkids where I get to relax and have the Christmas I’ve dreamt of from the holiday movies. When the kids are old enough we’re going away for Christmas. I just want one Christmas in my lifetime that is a white Christmas maybe Germany I don’t know and if we win lotto a Hawaiian Christmas too. We will stay in a nice apartment, we’ll do Christmas presents on Christmas morning, we’ll eat at restaurants and there will be no people pleasing and that Christmas will be all about me. It’ll be just about my immediate family, building memories where no one is stuck in a kitchen. Where I can have as many drinks as I like because no one has to drive, and I can have a nap whenever I feel like it. That’s the dream, let’s hope Covid and my bank balance allow it one day!
I spent a lot of time planning my blog before I launched it. It wrote articles, threw around names, and researched the designs of other blogs. I considered the type of content I would be interested in, and checked out other blogs that offered similar topics. I wrote enough enough content to post everyday for a week so that once I launched I could always stay a week ahead of myself. Once I was ready I signed up for WordPress premium with my chosen name. I spent a good week designing it and uploaded 4-5 articles to start with. I previewed my blog on my laptop, phone, iPad and my husbands phone. I spent hours troubleshooting how to fix different design elements and reading about how to launch a blog. I made a conscious decision to not tell family and friends about the blog. I really wanted to have complete artistic freedom to write and try this without them knowing. However this meant that I had to get followers from scratch! My articles needed to have headings that made people want to click and read. I needed images, excerpts and subheadings. My early articles are not my greatest but with each article I wrote I got better. It also helped to read other peoples articles and focus on how they formatted them. I’ve chosen not to go back and edit my past articles instead I offer them there for you to see how I’ve grown and learnt along the way.
In the first week of launching I was glued to seeing my views and visitors. To be honest I was pretty stoked with 6 views on the first day considering no-one but me and my husband knew about it. Day 4 was awesome and Day 11 was a low. I quickly understood what people were talking about when they said not to read these stats on a daily basis. Let the blog be, let it live and grow on its own. Come back monthly instead and see which articles got the most hits. Analyse why people liked them, was it the heading? the imagery? was the writing style different? content? that way you can make informed changes to the direction of your blog in the future.
This is a breakdown of the first 3 weeks of my blog, as you can see it fluctuated greatly. I found a huge correlation between my Pinterest ads and views specifically 2-3 days after the ad was launched. I also found that people would like my articles without viewing them because of the tags I used so make sure you utilise this feature.
My goal for the next month is to get over 50 views a day.
I wanted my blog to look really unique. I’d seen a few mum blogs and all of their pictures on Instagram and Pinterest looked really similar. Plus I’m just not great at photography so illustrations was a great solution. I decided I would use illustrations all in the same style on my blog. The day before I launched my blog I hired an illustrator on Fiverr.com. I initially sent the concepts of the illustrations I wanted to three illustrators on fiver for quotes. One illustrator seemed to grasp what I wanted more so I paid for one illustration $5 as a trial. Luckily I loved it and had him design two more for me. About a week after launching after I was really happy with my decision to start a blog so I hired the same illustrator to design a logo for me. I sent him images of logos I liked and we discussed colours. He was fantastic and happy to make alterations. Once I had the logo I uploaded it to my Blog, Instagram and Pinterest profiles and posts. Its really important for getting your name out there. A week later I ordered 4 more illustrations. I wanted to make sure I had them ready for my Christmas articles and to maintain the style of my blog. All up I spent just under $100. I really saw this as an investment in my blog. It’s a long game and I intend to try it for an entire year, posting everyday on my Blog, Instagram and Pinterest.
I love Canva templates. I recommend scanning their homepage to see the latest trending designs and picking from their in the beginning. I use Canva to create Pinterest Pins linked to my articles and Instagram Posts of quotes and article links. I like to design a few in the same style just changing up the colour and save them so they’re ready to go in advance. If I can I include my logo on them too to raise awareness of my brand. Canva uses the same free imagery as WordPress Premium so it’s really simple to use the same pictures on you Blog Posts and Social posts. You can also do a 30 day free trial of Canva-Premium which gives you access to extra templates and images. This is awesome if you’re working in advance because you can design them and download them before your free trial ends.
My first Pinterest add ran for 3 days costing me $1.45. I started the add on Day 2 of my blog and you can really see how it increased my daily views by Day 4. In the early days I would put a maximum daily spend of 0.50c and just slowly built up my followers on Pinterest which in turn increased my views on the blog. Although Pinterest seems to be giving my blog hits I haven’t quite cracked how to get more Pinterest followers.
After a week of having a blog I set up a Instagram account. I used Canva to create custom quotes, and previews of my blog articles. Here’s how to set one up without your private account followers knowing:
1 | Open the Instagram app
2 | Select your profile.
3 | Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top right corner
4 | Select Settings
5 | Scroll to the bottom of the menu. Tap Add Account.
6 | DO NOT LOGIN! Select SIGN-UP
7 | It will give you the option sign-up with Facebook. Don’t use this option if you use Facebook privately! Instead choose Sign Up With Phone or Email.
8 | Enter an Email NOT used by your private account.
9 | Instagram will email you to confirm the email address, open you email and confirm it
11 | Next get to customise your blogs Instagram. Add your Profile Pic, Name, Bio and Password.
12 | Then create a unique username (this should be your blogs name)
13 | Start Posting your content- make sure the link to you blog is in the bio so people know where to read your posts!
14 | Gain followers by joining local ‘loops’ these are essentially groups of Instagramer’s who want to gain followers and do so by hosting events in which you share a loop image, like a bunch of people they’re following and tag people in the loop. I found the tagging part hard because I didn’t actually have any follower I knew, but I just randomly started tagging some of my followers and never got any complaints. By using loops I managed to get 800 followers in just one month. The next goal is to hit 100k!
I’d love to hear how you’re going setting up your blog, and any real life experience you have of making it work!
Before kids I was self conscious about my body. As a 5ft1 B cup female with PCOS any fluctuation in weight was so obvious on my body, especially since I store all my body weight on my belly. No matter how much I ate healthily, drank water and exercised everyday the belly pouch existed. So naturally when I was in the early stages of pregnancy it was so obvious, no amount of baggy clothing and layers could hide it. So many people commented that my body suited pregnancy- lol that’s because it has always been 8-12 weeks pregnant in shape its entire life.
For many reasons including planning to fall pregnant, I tried to eat low carb and sugar free. My weight was always up and down but it averaged somewhere between 54-57kg.
When I did get pregnant for the first time I lived on carbs, I craved them, dreamt of them and ate them as many times a day as possible. They also stopped me from feeling sick which was awesome. I put on 13kg overall and gave birth to a healthy 4kg baby boy.
My postpartum body was beautiful. Stretched, curvy and rounded off with a post baby bump. the baby weight
I’d put on slowly fell off – helped significantly by exclusively breastfeeding.
After the six week all clear I took it slowly, very slowly. Let’s be honest I was so bloody tired that eating healthy and exercising was furthest from my mind. I craved sweet foods, and survived on toasties and coffee from my local drive-thru cafe. it took me a while but I started to notice that the not eating health or exercising was affecting my mood. I mean I’d always know that but sometimes when you’re in the midst of newborn chaos its hard to remember. I started super slow walking on the treadmill every few days whilst watching my fav shows and on days I could not be bothered I do a quick 10 min Youtube blogilates workout. I reduced my sugar intake gradually and just gave myself time to adjust to postpartum life. By about 6 months postpartum I had lost the baby weight and strangely my tummy was flatter than ever! I felt healthy in mind and body and just felt so proud of my body.
Giving up breastfeeding made maintaining my weight really hard though. My PCOS crazy hormones went ballistic and the tummy pouch returned. It was a real kick to my mental health. I thought I’d got the balance right and now had to work harder. I cut back all carbs and sugar and really make sure I made time to exercise my body.
Then had another setback when I developed an umbilical hernia. The surgery and limited exercise combined made me look 12 weeks pregnant again. completely disheartened I enlisted professional help to get me feeling good again. Physio led reformers pilates was incredible- literally a God-send. I had so much fun exercising and it toned my body in a different way than I’d ever experienced before. It was a hourly gift to myself 1-2 times a week and I felt confident that the exercise was healing my tummy and making me stringer than ever before.
I’m now 6 weeks postpartum after my second pregnancy. I started heavier this time around, but still put on the same amount- 13kg and birthed a less chunky 3.6kg baby boy. 6 weeks later though I feel gross. I’ve just got the all clear from the doctor and I’m about to embark on my journey back. Please understand this is not about body shaming, this is about feeling like me again. My body is not bouncing back, I don’t want my probably body I just want to feel good. My body has done an incredible job growing and feeding my two boys I now need to show it some love back.
Every few month I’m going to update you on how I’m showing love to my postpartum body. Be kind to your bodies Mumma’s, trust the process, and take care of yourselves.
Job Wanted: Must suit mum with small children, can work from home, flexible, doesn’t cost a fortune to set up, earns decent income.
I wouldn’t be the only mum who’s looking for more flexibility in their work. Coming from a full-time position with 8-hour days work life balance is a joke. When I went back to work after my first, I was lucky enough to have my mum care for my son every day, but I still found the mental load of mum-life, work-life and homelife extremely heavy and draining. I was missing out on so many firsts with my son and when I was home, I was so tired I barely had energy to play. Now with two sons I have spent countless nights restless trying to come up with ideas that will allow me to work from home and be there for school drop offs and pickups. I’m seeking a job that allows me to work the hours I want whilst earning the same amount I was whilst working full-time..how hard can it be?
Turns out there’s a reason so many mums have to go back to work after babies. Establishing a business or income from home that provides enough income is bloody hard. Not to mention the fact that even entertaining an idea is extremely expensive. Setting up blogs, buying inventory/materials, marketing all comes with quite a substantial initial investment which sometimes isn’t viable whilst you’re living on parental leave payments.
For example, I brainstormed the idea of having my own baby clothing website. I research suppliers who quickly pointed out how much in advance you have to buy stock, and that they wouldn’t even consider selling to you until you’ve set up a website. Enter in another cost factor, setting up proper websites with payment options, logos and hosting even on a budget is close to $1000 minimum. Then add the marketing needed and small business insurance, it’s quite the risk for a stay at home mum to take especially if money is tight. Even if you do take the plunge and invest in yourself the hours required initially take you away from your babies the very people you are fighting to spend more time with.
In the great quest to gain financial freedom and work for yourself you may find you’ve ended up spending money and time instead.
I’m not particularly crafty so making something to sell would be quite difficult for me, but again selling your own work may also require selling at markets on weekends again being away from your babies.
Alternatively you could study something that allow you to work from home such as Marketing or Design but again there’s a large financial and time commitment to make before any income is made, and you may need to return to work whilst studying again taking you away from your babies.
As a teacher I could hope that my Principal offers me part-time work but it’s rare and still wouldn’t allow me to do school drops offs or pickups. I could tutor but this involves working hours when the kids are home, normally around dinner and again defeats the purpose of me wanting to spend more time with them.
I don’t mean to dishearten you or your ambitions to work from home. You have every chance of succeeding in whatever goal you set. Even I’m not giving up yet I’m still going to try for my family. I guess that shows the world just how great us Mum’s are. Even when we’re working as full time Mumma’s and managing the household we’re doing extra work on top, always trying to make life better for our families. We are the heroes of multitasking and through all the hard work we’re teaching our children vital skills for life. Not to settle, to work hard, chase your dreams, and that family is the most important thing.
Good luck in your endeavours Mumma’s, and if you do come up with a solution for me let me know!
In Australia our kids spend a minimum of 12 years in education. They get taught English, Mathematics, Science, Arts, Humanities and Health. We give them opportunities to perform, compete, design, cook and experiment. We reward them for high grades and focus on teaching home how to have successful careers.
Just think about it…TWELVE years teaching how to have a career vs ZERO to be a mum!
Many parents are lucky if they even receive a 1 hour parenting class after the birth of their first child. We don’t adequately invest in preparing people for one of the most important roles they will ever play, the one in raising the next generation of citizens.
I’ve heard the argument that its not the schools job to do this, its the families. Although I agree with this statement, when parents work 8-6 and kids are at school 8:30-3pm there leaves very little time for teaching about family and values. You may say we have all weekend long, but again these days those weekends are filled with extracurricular activities.
It’s just a thought, but maybe if society rethought what we wanted schools to achieve we might not have such a huge discrepancy in societies value of stay at home mums and career success. Just maybe they’d be less of a pay gap between men and women. Maybe the value of family time would override the expectation to answer late night work calls and working weekends.
We could equip people with a few more parenting skills instead of dumping us in the deep end and saying good luck. I know there’s not instructions for children or perfect ways of raising them. However, I personally would have loved a little more education on sleeping, feeding and coping skills for mid 2 year old toddler tantrums.
Parenting shouldn’t be learnt alone. It’s a role that goes on longer than most careers and there is so much wisdom to be learnt in a community that could help so many. Let’s place more value on being mums and dads because this life is all about family!
This really resonated with me this week because I have done a lot of complaining of late. But I think the fact that so many mums are thought to be ‘complainers’ highlights a much greater issue. Firstly, why is a mum sharing the reality of what she’s experiencing called ‘complaining’. Secondly, why does she have to complain online, where are her support networks?
Motherhood can be lonely and sharing the good, bad, humorous experiences of our day is important.
Here’s a thought- If you partner is ‘complaining’ think about this, she’s probably been inside all day with the kids and hasn’t had any adult company all day. This wonder woman has suppressed her emotions and not exploded at the kids and now needs an outlet to share what she’s coped with alone all day. Your partner has been amazing, she has loved spending the day with the kids but it hasn’t been a walk in the park. Listen to her vent, she needs you to be that person, support her. Do not silence her and make her and make her feel guilty for sharing.
We love being a mums. Personally if I could find a way to be a mum every day and not have to go to work I would in a heartbeat. But even people with their dream jobs need breaks. It doesn’t mean they don’t love the job. It also doesn’t mean that every day goes perfectly and they never complain about anything. Cut us some slack. Let us share our experiences and connect with other mums. When we build each other up we make the world of raising little people less lonely. It gives us power and energy, and sometimes the fuel we need to keep going without crying. So rant Mumma all you like, I love hearing other people are experiencing what I am. Your ‘complaining’ makes me laugh, cry and jump for joy that I’m not alone.